This summer I plan on making lots of mistakes(If they could even be called that). Doing some dumb stuff and saying some dumb things(what? girls make me nervous). Burning that candle at every end possible, going to bed every night excited for tomorrow, and waking up every morning ready for a new adventure. There will be no wrong turns, only unexplored routes.There will be no bad or wrong choices, only adventures. There will be no want of, need for, or use of the word no, mistake, or do-over.
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”—Buddha (via definitelydope)
Well considering Ive basically been using timblr for inspiration amd a collection of thoughts or feelings. Sort of an external hard drive, because im far too inconsistant for a journal (i tried it once, it just didnt happen) anyways, tomorrow is my final day of highschool. I probably wont sleep tonight which is an accepted fact. Thanks anxiety.
Someone asked me today if i have any regrets or wish i did anything differently. Theyseemed surprised when I answered no, nothing.
Now let me explain further, first of all yes I made mistakes, Most were called mistakes in retrospect. However I am starting to realize. Without those mistakes I simply wouldnt be the same person. So are they really mistakes?Thats what bothers me the most.
To this day I am still wishing I had a concrete group of friends like most people. You know? The friends you are always hanging out with “your group” well I never really had that, I’ve always drifted from group to group It’s something I do. Someone wrote in my yearbook, Im really glad I got to meet hang out with and learn why everyone wants to hang out with you and I hope you retain this amicability throughout your life. This made me think, is it a bad thing occasionally I have to text a large amount of people to see if anyone can hang out or knows if anything is going on that night? Maybe this really is a good thing.
This year has been a huge fucking year. First of all last summer I went on a fucking amazing trip to Greece and Italy and became good friends with some strangera. And amazing friends with an already good friend whom I will miss sorely next year. Then I aquired my Eagle Scout award in Boyscouting. Which for me was a ridiculously large thing. I mean I’ve been in boyscouts since i was in like 1st grade. Ive grown so much through that met friends become better friends with people not to mention its basically thesource of all of my hobbies and my extreme love for the outdoors, as well as the life saving sport of rock climbing. Geh, then one of the other craziest things was YIG seriously Youth In Government. I’ve been in that progrM going to the hilton hotel for a weekend for 5 consecutive years met hundreds of the coolest most amazing people and made some fucking beautiful memories. A friend and I almost cried when it ended and me crying means its a big deal. Not to mention graduating highschool for something so constant and unrelenting in my life to just dissapear and not return.. That scares me. Especially when I think about all of thefucking rad people I’ve met and just experiences I’ve gained. Anyways I could write multiple encyclopedias on how all of these things have effected me and who I am today. There just isnt enough time or space to do it.
The future always hasand always will freak me the fuck out. So much in fact I cannot even bear to think about it further than a day or two. I can make light of it with jokes or satire. However this is probably thething that weighs heaviest on me. That and my partial inability to deal with change this drastic.